Our Little Miracle

                                                           November 8th 2012

Like a bear stumbling out of his cave, at 5am this morning I crawled out of my sleep to hear the world falling in cold, cloudy raindrops. I began to sing "November Rain", by Guns N' Roses. Then I began to sing "On the Radio" by Regina Spektor. "This how it works...you take that love you make, and stick it in someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood.." Little did I know that when I woke up today that I was going to see your tiny little feet kicking in your mommy's tummy! It was truly an astounding moment for both your mommy and I. At the sight of you, a marvelous joy awakened deep in my heart, as if while you are growing inside your mother, my heart is growing a special room dedicated to loving you! I haven't even heard your voice, yet already thinking about you brings a smile to my face.

Your mother's and my wedding plans grow. As that very special day approaches, I wonder what you will be thinking as I watch your mother walking down the aisle in the fullness of her beauty. I am excited to marry your mother, and I am also excited to watch you grow! Seeing you on that ultrasound inside your mother's womb changed my life. I eagerly await your arrival.
                                                            I love you, my child.
                                                                             Daddy


                                                             November 10th 2012

My Dearest Little One,

Thursday morning November 8th we had our appointment to do an ultrasound and determine if you had any genetic abnormalities. We arrived at 7am for our appt to discover that your Dr. had not faxed over the authorizations so they refused to see us until that was done. This was not helpful because their office didn't open til 8:30am and your mama had an important interview at 9. This test has to be done during a small window of time and if they didn't see us, then we would miss that window. Your mother was extremely frustrated and angry. Dealing with doctors and insurance companies has been a nightmare through this whole thing. It's like a really terrible version of "Who's on First?". No one communicates effectively, we get different information from everyone we speak to, and most of the time we are left in the dark about what's happening with you. As a mother, this is nerve-wracking. Fortunately after realizing I couldn't control the situation and I was probably stressing your little tiny body with the intense amounts of cortisone, I decided to just cry and pray.

They ended up seeing us and we made the interview with 2 minutes to spare. It was a miracle! But the bigger miracle was when the nurse mashed on my belly with the ultrasound wand and we got to see you kick and move. I was not prepared to see how big you have gotten! 4 weeks ago you were but a smudge, yet on that screen you looked like a tiny human. The nurse would mash on you and you would kick and punch as if in protest. When she moved the wand away you stuck out your tongue. Your tiny little belly showed us that you had hiccups and that moment was absolutely incredible! My heart was flooded with joy. As sick as I have been, it was overwhelming relief that you were so big and strong.
                                                  I love you, sweet child.
                                                               Mommy