Saturday, March 9, 2013

Delivery Fears

                                                             March 9th, 2013


Tempe,
         My beloved daughter. You're the greatest blessing I have ever received. I hope and pray that I can do right by you as your mommy. I have been busy planning your baby shower, (which will be owl themed) and working as a substitute instructional aide. It's a very rewarding job and I love it. It puts a lot of fears in my heart though as we draw closer to delivery. It's easy to get caught up in the panic that something I've done during pregnancy could result in a life long disability for you. Many of the classrooms I've been in for intellectually disabled are products of a complicated delivery. These children didn't have anything genetically wrong with them but at birth they were deprived of oxygen when the umbilical cord became wrapped around their neck and other complications. It is crucial for me to have a completely natural birth because an epidural could have major life threatening consequences for both of us. Although I logically realize that women have been doing this for centuries, I can't help but be a little scared as the day approaches.

     Your grammy prays over you every time we visit. It's kind of funny because you kick an awful lot when she does. Grammy says it's because you know who your daddy is. I know that God has carried us this far and sustained your little life through many pregnancy trials and He will continue to watch over you during delivery. I often think about how I will react when I finally get to hold your precious tiny self in my arms. I wonder if I will cry or not. Mommy isn't much of an emotional person. Between you and me, I think daddy will cry though. He's a big softie. You will have him wrapped around your little finger! I am going to have to teach you how to not abuse your powers of cuteness with him. I know he will have a hard time telling you no.
                                                                 I love you baby girl!
                                                                          Mommy

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